Operation OOPS
by NeverLander852
Summary: Bloopers on the Codename Kids Next Door Operation VIDEOGAME game. Has some swearing. I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.
1. Intro

Now loading

Kids Next Door Mission

Operation O.O.P.S.

* * *

_**O**verloaded_

_** O**uttakes _

_**P**lay _

_**S**tupidly_

* * *

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 1: Intro

_'Now loading Kids Next Door mission'_

_'Operation: V.I.D.E.O.G.A.M.E.'_

_'**V**illains **I**n **D**etention **E**scape **O**utpost **G**rowing **A**malgamation **M**ega **E**normously'_

* * *

_Take 1:_

"All right." said the director. "Codename Kids Next Door Operation V.I.D.E.O.G.A.M.E. Intro take 1. And... ACTION!"

The narrator's voice spoke like this:

_"Welcome to the world - a world ruled by adults. A world where kids are forced to take naps, allowed only limited time to play video games, and are marched off to schools to learn the grown-ups version of history..."_

Then another voice spoke:

_"And that stinks!"_

"Cut!" The director shouted.

_"Numbuh 4, don't interrupt! You don't speak!"_

_"Hey! I'm part of this team, Numbuh 1!"_

The director sighed.

* * *

_Take 2:_

"All right. Take 2, and ACTION!"

The narrator's voice spoke again:

_"Welcome to the world - a world ruled by adults. A world where-"_

Then another voice was singing:

_"La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!"_

_"Ugh! Numbuh 3! Be quiet!"_

"CUT!"

_"I'm not allowed to use scissors."_

_"Ugh, Numbuh 3, 'cut' just means 'stop'."_

* * *

_Take 3:_

"Take 3. Please, no more interruptions! And... action?"

The narrator's voice spoke for the third time that day, like this...

_"Welcome to the world - a world ruled by adults. A world where kids are forced to take naps, allowed only limited time to play video games, and are marched off to schools to learn the grown-ups version of history. A world where every precious moment of our free time is replaced by homework and piano lessons. Where our dinner plates are piled high with horrible, shrivelled, slimy weeds and grass clippings!"_

"CUT! All right, who changed Numbuh 1's script? Come on, own up!"

Numbuh 2 whistled innocently, but there was a pencil in his hand. Everyone looked at him.

"What? I'd only added some humor!"

"Save your humor till later, stupid!" the director shouted.

* * *

_Take 4:_

"Take 4, and ACTION!"

The you-know-what's voice came up:

_"Welcome to the world - a world ruled by adults. A world where kids are forced to take naps, allowed only limited time to play video games, and are marched off to schools to learn the grown-ups version of history. A world where every precious moment of our free time is replaced by homework and piano lessons. Where our dinner plates are piled high with horrible, shrivelled, slimy green vegetables!"_

"Good..." The director said.

_"But there is a group of kids who have stood up to say "NO!" A group committed to battling the forces of adulthood, and restoring freedom to kids everywhere. Recruited from the best and brightest kids around the globe, all are under the age of 13, and operating under the direction of our Global Command Center on the surface of the Moon..._

_We are... the KIDS NEXT-"_

Suddenly, the voice stopped.

"CUT!"

_"Numbuh 4!"_

_"What? It wasn't me this time!"_

_"Then why did the voice stop?"_

_"I wish I knew, Numbuh 5."_

Everybody looked at Numbuh 3. She was holding a cable. It was unplugged.

"I thought someone might trip on it, so i removed it!" she said.

"NUMBUH 3!" everyone shouted.

"Ooops."

* * *

By the way, _italic _is for the narrator and normal is... well, normal.

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	2. Operation: TUTORIAL

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 2: Operation: T.U.T.O.R.I.A.L.

* * *

_**[The scene with the Virtual Mission Sumulator]**_

_Take 1:_

"Ok," said the director. "Take 1. And... ACTION!"

It was a typical day in the KND Sector V Treehouse. Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 were playing videogames whilst Numbuh 1 was admiring a special helmet that Numbuh 2 had designed.

"I'm impressed, Numbuh 2. You actually built a Virtual Mission Simulator." he said.

"I made it Numbuh One Size Fits All..." Numbuh 2 said... and then he burst out laughing, to the disappointment of Numbuh 5.

Numbuh 3 spoke next.

"Hey, no fair! You're ch-"

But she was interrupted by Numbuh 2 laughing like billy-o.

"CUT!"

_Take 2:_

"Take 2. And... ACTION!"

Numbuh 2 did his line again...

"I made it Numbuh One Size..."

...but it went wrong because he burst out laughing again.

"CUT!"

_Take 3:_

"Take 3. And... ACTION!"

"I made it Numbuh..."

And Numbuh 2 burst out laughing for the third time that day.

"CUT, CUT, CUT!"

_Take 4:_

"Ugh... take 4. And... ACTION!"

Numbuh 2 just burst out laughing without even saying his line. Numbuh 4 was frustrated.

"Hey, knock it off! Numbuh 4 shouted. He threw a brick at Numbuh 2, knocking him out.

"CUT! You imbecile! You call yourself an actor?!"

* * *

_**[The scene with Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 at their videogame]**_

_Take 1:_

"Hey, no fair! You're cheating, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 3 shouted.

"No I'm not, Numbuh 3." said Numbuh 4. "I'm just _bad_! Gettin' in one of my new special moves. Watch me hit the turbo button, and really-"

He pressed the button, and up popped Rick Perry singing his song 'Never Gonna Give You Up'.

"What the-?!" said Numbuh 5 in horror.

"CUT!"

_Take 2:_

"Watch me hit the turbo button, and really-"

A loud fart noise appeared.

"NUMBUH 2!" everyone shouted.

"Wow!" said Numbuh 3. "Your special move just made Numbuh 2 fart!"

"Sorry." Numbuh 2 said. "I had a whole can of baked beans for lunch."

"Get the air freshener spray in here!" the director yelled.

_Take 3:_

"Watch me hit the turbo button, and really-"

The whole control room blew up, leaving the knd covered in soot.

"CUT! YOU CALL THAT ACTING?!"

"Wow!" said Numbuh 3. "Your special move just blew up the control room!"

"Whoops!" said Numbuh 4. "Must have hit the self-destruct button by accident."

"All right," coughed Numbuh 1, "who put a self-destruct button on the game controller?"

_Take 4:_

"Watch me hit the turbo button, and really-"

A spring launched up from some floorboards, launching Numbuhs 1, 2 and 5 into the Concrete Pillow Factory from _Skatoony_.

"Wow!" said Numbuh 3. "Your special move just made Numbuhs 1, 2 and 5 go flying!"

"CUT! And call an ambulance!"

_Take 5:_

"Watch me hit the turbo button, and really-"

All the lights in the set went out.

"Wow!" said Numbuh 3. "Your special move just turned off the lights!"

"Whoops!" said Numbuh 4. "Must have hit the power button by accident."

"CUT! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!"

_Take 6:_

"Watch me hit the turbo button, and really-"

A big glass of mango juice appeared.

"Wow!" said Numbuh 3. "Your special move just brought us some mango juice!"

Suddenly, a ship's mast came down and crushed Numbuhs 3 and 4.

"CUT! YOU FUCKING IMBECILES!"

* * *

_**[The scene with the Toiletnator attacking]**_

_Take 1:_

As Numbuh 1 tried on the VMS, the Toiletnator burst in...

and crashed through the floor.

"CUT!"

"oh dear!" said Numbuh 2. "I was supposed to fix those!"

_Take 2:_

The Toiletnator didn't show up. Everyone waited. Finally, Numbuh 4 shouted, "HEY, TOILETBUTT! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"

"Just a minute!" called a voice. A toilet flushed.

Finally, the Toiletnator arrived. And then he did a silly tap dance.

"Cut, Cut, CUT!"

_Take 3_:

As Numbuh 1 tried on the VMS, the Toiletnator hit the glass and never got into the KND Treehouse.

"CUT!"

"Sorry!" said Numbuh 4. "Forgot to open the window!"

_Take 4:_

As Numbuh 1 tried on the VMS, the Toiletnator burst in...

and a spring launched him out into the air, and into the _Worm World Factory_ from _Skatoony_.

"CUT! Alright, who put a springboard where the Toiletnator was to land?!"

* * *

_**[The scene with the Toiletnator's 'evil' plot]**_

_Take 1:_

"And Action!"

"With these terrifying toilets, this treehouse will be flooded with raw sewage... IN NO TIME!" The Toiletnator shouted.

He reached down, and picked up a toilet roll, threw it into the toilet...

and it got spat out at him.

"OUCH!" cried the Toiletnator.

"CUT!"

_Take 2:_

"And Action!"

"With these terrifying toilets, this treehouse will be flooded with raw sewage... IN NO TIME!" The Toiletnator shouted.

He reached down, and picked up a toilet roll, threw it into the toilet, and oil sprayed into his face!

"UGH! OIL?" shouted the Toiletnator.

"CUT!"

_Take 3:_

"And Action!"

"With these terrifying toilets, this treehouse will be flooded with raw sewage... IN NO TIME!" The Toiletnator shouted.

He reached down, and picked up a toilet roll, threw it into the toilet, and he sniffed...

...and then started choking.

"CUT! Alright, who a air freshener of bubblegum and flower soup in the toilet?!" the director shouted.

The Toiletnator fainted.

"And can someone get him to a doctor?"

"Uhh... we are still getting paid for this, right?" Numbuh 5 asked, whilst tied up alongside Numbuhs 2, 3 and 4 with the Toiletnator's toilet paper wrist roll... thingy.

* * *

_**read and review!**_


	3. Operation: DONUTTY

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 3: Operation: D.O.N.U.T.T.Y.

* * *

_**[The scene with the Toiletnator being thrown out of the window]**_

_Take 1:_

"Take 1! ACTION!"

The Toiletnator had just been 'defeated' by Numbuh 1, and was now being thrown out of the window.

"You miserable Kids Next Door may THINK you can keep me down, but I'll be back!" he shouted.

He was thrown out of the window, and screamed, "I'LL BE BAAAAACK!" right till... he got launched by a spring which sent him soaring up and up into the air, and up into outer space, where he kept going until he hit _Planet Dung_.

"**CUT!** Who put a springboard where he was supposed to land?"

_Take 2:_

"Okay, take 2!"

"You miserable Kids Next Door may THINK you can keep me down, but I'll be back!" the Toiletnator shouted.

He was thrown out of the window, and screamed, "I'LL BE BAAAAACK!" right till he... landed on a nearby fencepost and hit his crotch, making him scream like a little girl so loud, all the glass in all the windows of America shattered.

**"CUT!"** The director screamed. "And get him to a doctor!"

_Take 3:_

"Okay, take 3!"

"You miserable Kids Next Door may THINK you can keep me down, but I'll be back!" he shouted.

He was thrown out of the window, and screamed, "I'LL BE BAAAAACK!" right till he flew into the _Faulty Bagpipe Superstore_ from **Skatoony**.

"CUT! That was stupid, but I suppose they'll do!"

* * *

_**[Numbuh 86's Mission Briefing]**_

_Take 1:_

The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen.

But instead of Numbuh 86 appearing on the screen, Rick Astley appeared on the screen, singing his song _'Never Gonna Give You Up'_.

"What the-" said Numbuh 4. "Numbuh 5 just thinks we got rickrolled." Numbuh 5 said.

"Of course, you did, stupid!" the director snapped. Numbuh 5 was mad. "HEY! Nobody calls Numbuh 5 stupid and gets away with it!" And with that comment, she started beating up the director like there was no tomorrow.

And she threw the director out of the window, and into the _Mousetrap Factory_ from **Skatoony**.

"Wow." said Numbuh 4 to Numbuh 5. "Remind me never to get on your bad side."

_Take 2:_

The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen.

The screen appeared blank, but Numbuh 86's voice was heard.

"Attention, Sector V! This is Numbuh 86! While you slackers have been lounging around doin' nothin..."

She stopped. "HEY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! WHY IS THE SCREEN BLANK?"

"We're here, Numbuh 86! What's the problem?" Numbuh 1 said.

"THE PROBLEM IS THAT I CAN'T SEE YOU!"

"CUT! Can somebody fix the screen?"

_Take 3:_

The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen.

The screen appeared blank.

"Cut! Where is Numbuh 86? She just missed her cue!"

Outside the studio, Numbuh 86 was struggling with the door to the women's restroom. It was stuck.

"Darn my toilet break!" she snapped. "Darn these faulty doors!

_Take 4:_

The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen. Numbuh 86 appeared on it.

She shouted, "Attention, Sector V! This is Numbuh 86! While you slackers have been lounging around doin' nothin' all day, there has been an incident at Kids Next Door Arctic Base!"

"What kind of incident?" Numbuh 1 asked.

"The 'kind of incident' were _ALL_ of the Kids Next Door's greatest villains have escaped from our Maximum Security Prison! I'd get the real sector to help out, but unfortunately everyone else is at the beach!"

"I told you we should have went to the beach today." Numbuh 5 said to Numbuh 1.

Numbuh 86 continued. "So, it's up to you to recapture the villains, and take them to our Extra-Sooper-Triple Maximum Security Prison on the dark side of the moon!"

Numbuh 3 liked the sound of what Numbuh 86 had just said. "An extra-sooper-triple maximum..." and then she burst out laughing.

**"CUT!"**

"Aww!" said Numbuh 4. "And we were doing so well!"

_Take 5:_

Numbuh 86 continued. "So, it's up to you to recapture the villains, and take them to our Extra-Sooper-Triple Maximum Security Prison on the dark side of the moon!"

Numbuh 3 liked the sound of what Numbuh 86 had just said. "An extra-sooper-triple maximum security prism?"

"CUT! Numbuh 3, it's 'prison'!" The director shouted.

"Well I think prism is much nicer!"

"Oh the indignity!" the director sighed.

_Take 6:_

Numbuh 86 continued. "So, it's up to you to recapture the villains, and take them to our Extra-Sooper-Triple Maximum Security Prison on the dark side of the moon!"

Numbuh 3 liked the sound of what Numbuh 86 had just said. "An extra-sooper-triple maximum security prison?" What a perfect place to cheer up those meanies!"

Numbuh 86 wasn't interested though. "So what are you dopes standing around for?" she shouted. "Gramma Stuffum has taken over the Sprinkle Puff Donut Shoppe, and is filling the donuts with **SPINACH**! Get over there and haul her kalister of clogbutt..." By now, she was now ranting and blasting out swear words like it was nothing.

"CUT! Numbuh 86, we're trying to make a kids videogame, not an R-rated one!"

"Oh, shut the **** up!" shouted Numbuh 86, and she punched the director in the head over and over.

Numbuh 4 sat down, ate popcorn, and watched the show.

_Take 7:_

[From after Numbuh 3's line]

Numbuh 86 wasn't interested though. "So what are you dopes standing around for?" she shouted. "Gramma Stuffum has taken over the Sprinkle Puff Donut Shoppe, and is filling the donuts with **SPINACH**! Get over there and haul her kalister of clogbutt up to the moonbase! AND STEP ON IT!"

But she screamed "AND STEP ON IT!" so loud, all the power went out.

**"CUT! THAT BRAT IS SO GONNA PAY!"** The director screamed.

Numbuhs 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 all stepped back, feeling nervous and/or frightened.

* * *

_**[After the Mission Briefing]**_

"Spinach via donuts?" said Numbuh 5, shocked at what Numbuh 86 had said earlier. "Did I happen to mention that Numbuh 5 is allergic to growth?"

"We've got to stop her!" said Numbuh 2. He turned to Numbuh 5. "Are you really allergic to growth?"

"Naw!" said Numbuh 5. "Numbuh 5 was joking!"

"And the director says THOSE AREN'T YOUR LINES, STUPID!" The director screamed.

Then Numbuh 4 **and** Numbuh 5 beat him up together.

And then they did the rest of the level cutscene like normal.

* * *

"Spinach via donuts?" said Numbuh 5, shocked at what Numbuh 86 had said earlier. "Did I happen to mention that Numbuh 5 is allergic to growth?"

"We've got to stop her!" said Numbuh 2.

"Right," said Numbuh 1. "I'll go after Gramma Stuffum. Numbuh's 2, 3, ... and 5, spread out to see if you can track down any of the other escaped villains."

"Hey! What about me?" said Numbuh 4. "We need you to stay here and defend the Treehouse in case any of those villains try a sneak attack." Numbuh 1 said as he, Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 3 headed out.

Numbuh 4 was shocked. "What? But-"

"Don't wait up for us, homebody!" Numbuh 5 teased. And as she left, she said, "And you might wanna brush up on some of those 'special videogame moves' while we're gone!"

* * *

**[The In-Level Text Intermissions]**

_[Don't sue me if they're in script format, OK?]_

_Intro:_

Numbuh 1: The Sprinkle Puff Donut Shoppe! Of all the sacred, sugar-coated places Gramma Stuffum could violate...

Gramma Stuffum: Oh ho hooo... soon, Numbuh 1... skinny childrens around ze world will have my delightful liver and spinach pastr-yhee-hee-hee-he!

Director: **CUT!**

_Giant Oven & Spinach Soldiers:_

Numbuh 1: Why on earth would Gramma Stuffum need an oven that size?

Gramma Stuffum: Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoooo skinny boy... why eats so many tiny donuts when just _**one**_ of my fat-tastic Mega Donuts can plump you up oh so nicely?

Numbuh 1: You'll never get away with this, Gramma Stuffum!

Gramma Stuffum: Oh, but I WILL... and my nutritous Spinach... ha ha ha ha ha!

Director: Oh crap!

_Inside The Giant Oven:_

Numbuh 1: Gramma Stuffum, I will never allow you to deny kids the sugary sweet taste of Sprinkle Puff Donuts! You're going back to prison, where you'll never touch so much as a spatula... HA ha ha ha ha!

Director: **CUT CUT CUT CUT!**

_Revolting Food Dream Joke:_

Numbuh 1: You know Gramma, I had a dream last night about eating a luscious gorilla gizzard dinner, complete with cockroach stuffing, rotten sweet potatoes and moose brain gravy!

Gramma Stuffum: Really?

Numbuh 1: Actually, YES!

Gramma Stuffum: [pukes]

Director: **CUT!** WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, NUMBER 1? YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY YES!

Numbuh 1: Sorry. I couldn't resist!

_Chunk Wagon Boss:_

Gramma Stuffum: So... haven't had enough of Gramma's cooking yet I see...

Numbuh 1: Stuff it Stuffum! It's time to trade in your oven mitts for hand-cuffs!

Gramma Stuffum: Oh-ho-ho-ho... but I'm afraid you haven't cleaned your plate yet my skinny scarecrow! Not to worry... My Chunk Wagon has just ze thing to help you childrens put some... **MEAT ON YOUR BONES!**

Numbuh 1: Oh come on! That's the lamest joke I ever heard!

Director: AND THOSE AREN'T YOUR LINES, STUPID!

Numbuh 1: WHAT? [turns to Gramma Stuffum] Truce?

Gramma Stuffum: OK.

Director: Oh dear...

*The director is beaten up by Numbuh 1, and Gramma Stuffum throws him out and into the _Pointy Pin Factory_ from Skatoony]

Gramma Stuffum: Now where were we?

_*She and Numbuh 1 do battle like in the game*_

* * *

**Note:**_ there won't be In-Level Text Intermission Bloopers for all the chapters, but... ah well, you can't have everything, can ya?_

_**READ AND REVIEW!**_


	4. Operation: BOOGIFICATION

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 4: Operation: B.O.O.G.I.F.I.C.A.T.I.O.N.

* * *

_**[Level opening cutscene]**_

_Take 1:_

Numbuh 1 had just defeated Gramma Stuffum and stopped her plan to feed all children spinach flavored donuts. Then a call came from the treehouse, and guess who it was.

That's right! It was Rick Astley performing 'Never Gonna Give You Up'.

"CUT!"

_Take 2:_

Numbuh 1 had just defeated Gramma Stuffum and stopped her plan to feed all children spinach flavored donuts. Then Numbuh 4 called from the treehouse.

"Come in, Numbuh 1. Numbuh 1, I really, really need to use the bathroom, but-"

"Well, you don't need MY permission, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 1 interrupted.

"I KNOW!" Numbuh 4 shouted, "It's just that all the toilets are clogged with-"

"UGH! Gross, Numbuh 4! What did I tell you about trying to keep it in the bowl?!" Numbuh 1 snapped.

As Numbuh 1 listened to Numbuh 4, he hardly noticed a shadowy figure sneak up to the Chunk Wagon, and steal a glowing cake, making the Chunk Wagon shut down completely.

"No no! You don't understand; I haven't even gone yet! But there's this globby green stuff all over the treehouse. In fact, it looks like someone blew their nose all over your bed, Numbuh 1!" said Numbuh 4.

"WHAT! SOMEONE BLEW THEIR NOSE OVER MY BED! THEY ARE SO GONNA DIE!" screamed Numbuh 1.

"CUT! WHAT WAS THAT! NUMBUH 1, THAT WASN'T YOUR LINE!"

_Take 3:_

Numbuh 1 had just beat Gramma Stuffum and stopped her plan to feed all children spinach flavored donuts. Then Numbuh 4 called from the treehouse.

"Come in, Numbuh 1. Numbuh 1, I really, really need to use the bathroom, but-"

"Well, you don't need MY permission, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 1 interrupted.

"I KNOW!" Numbuh 4 shouted, "It's just that all the toilets are clogged with-"

"UGH! Gross, Numbuh 4! What did I tell you about trying to keep it in the bowl?!" Numbuh 1 snapped.

As Numbuh 1 listened to Numbuh 4, he hardly noticed a shadowy figure sneak up to the Chunk Wagon, and steal a glowing cake, making the Chunk Wagon shut down completely.

"No no! You don't understand; I haven't even gone yet! But there's this globby green stuff all over the treehouse. In fact, it looks like someone blew their nose all over your bed, Numbuh 1!" said Numbuh 4.

Numbuh 1 thought about what Numbuh 4 had just said. "Hmmm... Snot everywhere. Sounds to me like the uncommonly gross work of The Common Cold. Break out the Vitamin C weapons and wait for backup, Numbuh 4."

He changed transmissions to any nearby operative. "Attention Kids Next Door! This is a Sooper Double-Code Blurgleberry..."

And then he burst out laughing.

"CUT!"

"Sorry!" said Numbuh 1. "'Blurgleberry sounds so..."

And he burst out laughing like there was no tomorrow.

"Why me?" moaned the director.

* * *

**[The In-Level Text Intermissions]**

Intro:

Common Cold: Don't look now, you snot-nosed kids, but your treehouse seems to be coming down with something! Muh-ha-ha-aha-AHA... AHAAACHOOO!

Numbuh 5: We'll see who's coming down with something! Once Numbuh 1's defences kick in...

Common Cold: But that's just it. Your security system seems to have a flu bugs in it... FEW BUGS, that is!

Director: CUT! It's FLU bugs!

Numbuh 5's Bedroom:

Common Cold: Ha-ha-ha-hA-AAAACHOO! As you can see, I've done a little... redecorating!

Numbuh 5: MY BEDROOM?! Now THAT'S going TOO FAR, phlegm-face! Using MY disco ball against me? That's some cold...

Common Cold: Music to my ears! By the way, I PICKED the colour myself!

Numbuh 5: You just wait! Once the system's shut down, Numbuh 5's gonna reDECOARATE your ASS!

Director: CUT! IT'S 'FACE', NOT 'ASS'!

Numbuh 5: Numbuh 5 thinks it fits!

Director: Oh brother!

Level Complete:

Numbuh 5: That does it. With the security system shut down, Numbuh 5 has made the treehouse safe and secure once more. Heh-heh-heh!

Numbuh 1: Good work, Numbuh 5! I'll be there shortly with dear old Gramma Stuffum. Numbuh 1 out.

Numbuh 5: Ah well... Now to talk Numbuh 4 in to helping me clean UP this mess!

Numbuh 4: HEY! I heard that, you know!

Director: Cut! Numbuh 4, you don't appear till the intro cutscene for the next level!

Numbuh 4: Oh, shut the **** UP! [wallops the director]

* * *

I think I'll change the rating to T now, just to be on the safe side.

**Common Cold:** Read and Revi-evi-evia-AAAHHHHHCHOOOO! Review!


	5. Operation: SNOTBOMBER

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 5: Operation: S.N.O.T.B.O.M.B.E.R.

* * *

_**[Level opening cutscene]**_

_Take 1:_

Numbuh 5 had just fought her way through a boogified KND Treehouse, fought the Common Cold's Flu Bugs, and switched off the defense grid.

"Man, that was too easy!" said Numbuh 5, feeling very pleased with herself. "Now to find out where Numbuh 4 is hiding!"

She then heard muffled shouts, and there, glued down with snot was...

"THE TOILETNATOR?"

**"CUT! THE TOILETNATOR DOESN'T APPEAR TILL OPERATION O.V.E.R.F.L.O.W.!"**

_Take 2:_

Numbuh 5 had just fought her way through a boogified KND Treehouse, fought the Common Cold's Flu Bugs, and switched off the defense grid.

"Man, that was too easy!" said Numbuh 5, feeling very pleased with herself. "Now to find out where Numbuh 4 is hiding!"

She then heard muffled shouts, and there, glued down with snot was...

"KNIGHTBRACE?"

**"CUT! KNIGHTBRACE DOESN'T APPEAR TILL LATER!"**

_Take 3:_

Numbuh 5 had just fought her way through a boogified KND Treehouse, fought the Common Cold's Flu Bugs, and switched off the defense grid.

"Man, that was too easy!" said Numbuh 5, feeling very pleased with herself. "Now to find out where Numbuh 4 is hiding!"

She listened for Numbuh 4's muffled shouts... but there weren't any there at all. "OK, where is that stuck doofus that has to go to the bathroom?" sighed Numbuh 5 impatiently.

Numbuh 4 had gone off to get nachos. "These nachos are good!" he said with his mouth full.

Numbuh 4's phone rang. It was Numbuh 5, and she was pissed off. "HEY, NUMBUH 4! YA BIG DOOFUS! NUMBUH 5 SEES YOU JUST MISSED YOUR CUE!"

_"Numbuh 4 is not in. Leave a message after the beep."_ **BEEP**

"Oh, Numbuh 5's gonna give you a message after the beep!" She punched Numbuh 4 through the phone, and sent him flying into the _Sewage Factory _from Skatoony.

* * *

**[Common Cold's appearance]**

_Take 1:_

Numbuh 5 had just fought her way through a boogified KND Treehouse, fought the Common Cold's Flu Bugs, and switched off the defense grid.

"Man, that was too easy!" said Numbuh 5, feeling very pleased with herself. "Now to find out where Numbuh 4 is hiding!"

She then heard muffled shouts, and there, glued down with snot was Numbuh 4. _**[At last!]**_

"Ugh, gross, Numbuh 4! How did you... Oh, never mind. I don't even wanna know. Now get down from there, we got work to do!"

Numbuh 4 said some more muffled words.

"What's that?" Numbuh 5 asked. Then Numbuh 4 **farted** loudly.

"Oh, man! Numbuh 5 thinks you got some unfinished business back in the bathroom! And while you're taking care of that business, Numbuh 5's gonna reset the treehouse defense grid."

Suddenly, without warning, the Common Cold appeared outside in his Snotbomber!

"Oh, I'm sorry! The Defense Grid called in sick today! And it looks like it's **CONTAGIOUS**! AH-ha-ha-ha! Aha-ahhhchooo!"

At that moment, Numbuh 2 raced in riding the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S...

...and accidentally crashed into the Snotbomber, sending it crashing into the KND treehouse!

"Numbuh 2, you bitch!" Numbuh 5 shouted angrily.

**"CUT! YOU IMBECILE! YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ACTOR?"**

_Take 2:_

Suddenly, without warning, the Common Cold appeared outside in his Snotbomber!

"Oh, I'm sorry! The Defense Grid called in sick today! And it looks like it's **CONTAGIOUS**! AH-ha-ha-ha! Aha-ahhhchooo!"

At that moment, Numbuh 2 raced in riding the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S..

"The only thing contagious around here is the** buttwhuppin'** I'm about to deliver to you, Common Cold!" Numbuh 2 shouted.

"Not so fast, flyboy!" The Common Cold shouted back. "My new SnotBomber carries enough boogers to blast through even the strongest defences of your pitiful C.O.O.L.-B.U.S.! And it's powered by twin snot-cooled engines! Ahhchooo!"

"Oh yeah? Well **YOU'RE** staring down the barrels of the new and improved C.O.O.L.-B.U.S.! Complete with an arsenal of 2x4 weapons, capable of wiping you best boogers **CLEAN** off that snot-encrusted **FACE**! And **IT'S** afterburners are superheated by none other than my mom's **TASTIEST** chicken noodle soup!"

"**URGH**!" the Common Cold shouted, and he flew off... only to destroy the control room of the KND Treehouse, and send Numbuhs 4 & 5 falling down to earth, landing with a splat!

**"CUT!"** shouted the director. "Get those kids to hospital!"

The Common Cold sprayed him with snot.

"And can someone get me a towel? And some chicken noodle soup?"

"I got it!" Numbuh 2 shouted. and he did a C.H.I.C.K.E.N.S.O.U.P.L.O.S.I.O.N. blast with his C.O.O.L.-B.U.S., soaking the director!

"I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THAT, STUPID!"

"Sorry!" shouted Numbuh 2 as he flew off after the Common Cold's Snotbomber, shouting, "Soup's on, snotty! Come get a taste!"

* * *

There are no In-Level Text Intermissions for this one because... well, they're not quite good. Ah well, you can't have eveything, can ya?

Numbuh 2: _**Read and Review!** _


	6. Operation: SPANK-HAPPY

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 6: Operation: S.P.A.N.K.-H.A.P.P.Y.

* * *

_**[Common Cold defeated]**_

_Take 1: _

Numbuh 2 had just defeated the Common Cold's Snotbomber with his C.O.O.L.-B.U.S.

"Bah, snot-nosed kids! I hate y... I... ACHOO!" went the Common Cold from his malfunctioning Snotbomber.

"Good work, Numbuh 2! Now transport our snotty friend to a holding cell before we take him to Moonbase." Numbuh 1 said on the phone.

"Roger that!" said Numbuh 2. "Looks like my modifications to the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. were just the right medicine!"

But as he put his phone away, he dropped it. At that moment, the same shadowy figure from the cutscene of Operation: B.O.O.G.I.F.I.C.A.T.I.O.N. appeared. Numbuh 2 saw the stranger.

"Hey! Who's that?!" Numbuh 2 said. "I'll get him!" "NO!" screamed the director. But it was too late. Numbuh 2 rammed the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. into the shadowy figure, knocking him down and into the_ Spikey Spike Shipping_ cargo ship from **Skatoony**.

"CUT!"

_Take 2: _

Numbuh 2 had just defeated the Common Cold's Snotbomber with his C.O.O.L.-B.U.S.

"Bah, snot-nosed kids! I hate y... I... ACHOO!" went the Common Cold from his malfunctioning Snotbomber.

"Good work, Numbuh 2! Now transport our snotty friend to a holding cell before we take him to Moonbase." Numbuh 1 said on the phone.

"Roger that!" said Numbuh 2. "Looks like my modifications to the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. were just the right medicine!"

But as he put his phone away, he dropped it. At that moment, the same shadowy figure from the cutscene of Operation: B.O.O.G.I.F.I.C.A.T.I.O.N. appeared. Numbuh 2 didn't see the stranger this time, but as he leant down to grab his phone, he accidentally hit the turbo boost lever, and drove the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. into the malfunctioning Snotbomber, and both the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. and the Snotbomber crashlanded into the _Broken Glass Factory_ from **Skatoony**.

"CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!"

* * *

_**[Control Room]**_

_Take 1:_

Numbuh 2 had returned back to the KND treehouse and put The Common Cold in a holding cell before they took him to Moonbase. He and Numbuh 1 were in the control room, and watching Numbuh 4 jumping up and down and holding his bladder, because he _**still**_ hadn't gone to the bathroom.

"Hello?!" he shouted. "If we're all _finished_ with that booger thing, I'm about to **explode** here unless someone unclogs all the snot-filled toilets in this treeh-"

And Numbuh 4 exploded with a bang. "AAAGH!" Numbuhs 1 & 2 said. "Numbuh 4? Can you hear me?!" shouted the director.

"Yes I can hear you." said a voice. It was Numbuh 4! "But... what about-?" said the director.

"Yeah." said Numbuh 4. "I had to go get some nachos, so i got my robotic Stunt Double to help me."

_Take 2:_

Numbuh 2 had returned back to the KND treehouse and put The Common Cold in a holding cell before they took him to Moonbase. He and Numbuh 1 were in the control room, and watching the real Numbuh 4 jumping up and down and holding his bladder, because he _**still **_hadn't gone to the bathroom.

"Hello?!" he shouted. "If we're all _finished_ with that booger thing, I'm about to **explode** here unless someone unclogs all the snot-filled toilets in this treehouse!"

"Well, you could always use... THE TOILET WE NEVER USE!" said Numbuh 1. But before Numbuh 2 could say his line, an organ player played scary music. "HEY, give over!" the director shouted to the organ player, who stopped playing her organ and shut it up.

_Take 3:_

Numbuh 2 had returned back to the KND treehouse and put The Common Cold in a holding cell before they took him to Moonbase. He and Numbuh 1 were in the control room, and watching Numbuh 4 jumping up and down and holding his bladder, because he _**still **_hadn't gone to the bathroom.

"Hello?!" he shouted. "If we're all _finished_ with that booger thing, I'm about to **explode** here unless someone unclogs all the snot-filled toilets in this treehouse!"

"Well, you could always use... THE TOILET WE NEVER USE!" said Numbuh 1. "Ahh! He can't go down there! That toilet is haunted!" said Numbuh 2.

Numbuh 4 was desperate, and he had no other option. "Ohhh, you guys are just trying to scare me. But haunted or not, I gotta go. I'll be right back!" he said as he ran into a door, jumped, and then there was a loud clang, and Numbuh 4 screamed like a little girl so loud it made all the glass in the KND treehouse break.

"CUT!"

"I think Numbuh 4 broke his bladder." Numbuh 2 said. "And he needed the bathroom."

"Great!" The director sighed. "Can someone get him to a doctor?"

_Take 4:_

Numbuh 2 had returned back to the KND treehouse and put The Common Cold in a holding cell before they took him to Moonbase. He and Numbuh 1 were in the control room, and watching Numbuh 4 jumping up and down and holding his bladder, because he _**still **_hadn't gone to the bathroom.

"Hello?!" he shouted. "If we're all _finished_ with that booger thing, I'm about to **explode** here unless someone unclogs all the snot-filled toilets in this treehouse!"

"Well, you could always use... THE TOILET WE NEVER USE!" said Numbuh 1. "Ahh! He can't go down there! That toilet is haunted!" said Numbuh 2.

Numbuh 4 was desperate, and he had no other option. "Ohhh, you guys are just trying to scare me. But haunted or not, I gotta go. I'll be right back!" he said as he ran into a door, jumped, and then there was a loud boing, and he was launched out of the treehouse and into the Used Nappy Dump from Skatoony.

"CUT! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT?!"

_**[Numbuh 4 goes to the toilet]**_

_Take 1:_

Numbuh 4 ran to the unused toilet, opened the door and the door quickly slammed shut on him, knocking him over.

"Cut!"

_Take 2:_

Numbuh 4 ran to the unused toilet, opened the door and the door quickly slammed shut on his leg, trapping it and making him scream in pain.

"CUT! Get that door unjammed, please!"

_Take 3: _

Numbuh 4 ran to the unused toilet, opened the door and went in... and ran out screaming like billy-o.

**"CUT CUT CUT CUT!** WHY THE HELL DID YOU RUN OUT, NUMBUH 4?!"

"It's absolutely crappy in there!"

"We don't call it 'The Toilet We Never Use' for nothing!" said Numbuh 1 on a speaker near the toilet door.

_Take 4:_

Numbuh 4 ran to the unused toilet, opened the door and went in... only to get kicked out by Numbuh 3.

"HEY, NUMBUH 4! I WAS HERE FIRST!"

**"CUT! NUMBUH 3 IS SUPPOSED TO BE IN HER ROOM WHEN COUNT SPANKULOT ATTACKS HER!"**

_Take 5:_

Numbuh 4 ran to the unused toilet, opened the door and went in... and there was a loud scream and a big splat!

**"CUT!"** Then the men's room sign fell off, revealing 'Emergency Exit'.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

_Take 6:_

Numbuh 4 ran to the unused toilet, opened the door and went in... and there was a loud BOING and Numbuh 4 was launched into the air, and he landed in the _Gravy Recycling_ factory from **Skatoony**!

"CUT!"

* * *

**[The In-Level Text Intermissions]**

Intro:

Numbuh 4: All right, I'm here already! Now what's the emergency, Numbuh 1? Numbuh 1?

Vampire Numbuh 1: Muh-hah-haaa! Welcome, to your INTIATION, Numbuh 4!

Numbuh 4: Initiation? What cruddy... Wait a minute! You've all been turned into Spank-Happy Vampires again, haven't you! Count Spankulot must've had a **hand** in this!

Count Spankulot: YES, I HAVE!

Director: CUT! Count Spankulot, your appearance isn't in this level! It's in Operation S.P.A.N.K.A.R.I.F.F.I.C.!

Count Spankulot: Grr! How DARE you say that about me, Count Spankulot! [spanks the director over and over and over and over]

S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R.:

Numbuh 4: What the-

Vampire Numbuh 2: Looking for your S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R., ol' Buddy? Sorry, but I seem to have... disassembled it. But don't worry, you should be able to find all the parts IF you can get past my improved W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s! Muh-ha-ha-bllof!

Numbuh 4: Grrr! Once I get my S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. back together - you'll be wishin' it was Count Spankulot whupping your butt before I'm through with you!

Count Spankulot: Grr! How DARE you say that about me, Count Spankulot! I'm gonna KILL you!

Director: CUT!

Numbuh 4: You shut the **** up!

[Numbuh 4 wallops the director]

Vampire Numbuh 2 [Hoagie P. Spankulot] Defeated:

Numbuh 2: Uhhn... nachos...

Numbuh 4: Sounds like the old Numbuh 2 to me. That's one down...

Vampire Numbuh 5: and three and five to go, fucka!

Director: HEY! That's offensive language!

Vampire Numbuh 3: Time for spankies!

[Vampire Numbuhs 3 & 5 attack the director]

Vampire Numbuhs 3 & 5 [Kuki and Abby Spankulot] Defeated:

Numbuh 4: Sorry to rough you guys up, but it's for your own good.

Vampire Numbuh 1: Impressive, Numbuh 4. I didn't expect you to defeat the others so easily.

Numbuh 4: Why, thank you.

Director: CUT! Numbuh 4, you weren't supposed to have gratitude for him!

Numbuh 4: OK! [charges up and beats Vampire Numbuh 1 to a pulp, then throws him at the camera.]

Director: Why me?

Vampire Numbuh 1 [Nigel Spankulot] Boss:

Vampire Numbuh 1: What's the matter Numbuh 4? Seeing double... TROUBLE? Ha-ha-haaa! Let's see now... which is the **real** one... and which ones are the illusions...? [bursts into laughter]

Director: CUT!

Vampire Numbuh 1 [Nigel Spankulot] Defeated:

Numbuh 5: Maan... Numbuh 5 just had the weirdest dream...

Numbuh 1: That was no dream, Numbuh 5. If it weren't for Numbuh 4, we'd all still be Spank-Happy Vampires.

Numbuh 3: Can we stop talking about spanking now? My bottom still hurts... NUMBUH 4!

Numbuh 4: Whaaat?! I went through a level in a videogame based on our show to save all your vampiric butts and all so we can capture all of our villains and take them to a prison on the dark side of the moon, only for the Delightful Children from down the lane to morph them into one and we have to use the moonbase treehouse to beat them, and that's the thanks i get?!

Director: Well, there goes a good videogame. He's just gone and spoilt it for the players.

Numbuh 4: Oh crud! Me and my stupid, stupid mouth!

* * *

Next chapter will have my favorite operative in the videogame! Can you guess who she is?

_**Read and Review!**_

Count Spankulot: Or else you get **SPANKED**! Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa!


	7. Operation: HAMSTERAMA

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Now it's time for my favourite playable operative: NUMBUH 3!

Numbuh 3: YAY!

This one is...

Chapter 7: Operation: H.A.M.S.T.E.R.A.M.A.

* * *

_**[Level Intro Cutscene]**_

_Take 1:_

"And... Action!"

Hamsters were swarming the KND Treehouse. Sector v had tried to catch them but they'd had no luck.

"Man... Numbuh 5 is exhausted!" said Numbuh 5.

"By releasing all the hamsters from the power core, Count Spankulot was able to plunge the treehouse into total darkness." said Numbuh 1.

"Ugh... they're just... too... fast!" said Numbuh 4 as some hamsters jumped on him, and the last one jumped onto his baldder, making him scream in pain!

"**CUT! Get him to hospital, stat!"**

_Take 2:_

"And... Action!"

Hamsters were swarming the KND Treehouse. Sector v had tried to catch them but they'd had no luck.

"Man... Numbuh 5 is exhausted!" said Numbuh 5.

"By releasing all the hamsters from the power core, Count Spankulot was able to plunge the treehouse into total darkness." said Numbuh 1.

"Ugh... they're just... too... fast!" said Numbuh 4 as some hamsters jumped on him. "We'll never be able to catch all these cruddy hamsters!"

Numbuh 3 was happy to have caught a hamster, though. "Gotcha, little hamster!" she said. "You can't run from me, silly!"

"Well..." said Numbuh 1 giving out a yawn, "that's one!" "It's easy! They just wanna play!" said Numbuh 3.

"Um, OK, team." said Numbuh 1. "We need to catch those hamsters and get that power core back online. Who's up for it?"

"Ooh! Ooh, ooh, me, me, me, me! Pick me! I wanna play with the hamsters!" said Numbuh 3.

"All righty, then." Numbuh 1 said. "Numbuh 3, you gather up the hamsters. And we'll stay here and..." He let out another yawn. "...supervise!"

Numbuh 3 chased after a hamster. It jumped into a hole, and Numbuh 3 jumped down after it, and then there was a loud crunch, then Numbuh 3 screamed so loud it made all the glass in the KND treehouse break.

**_"CUT!"_**

"I think Numbuh 3 broke her crotch." said an intern.

"Someone get Kuki to a hospital, stat!"

_Take 3:_

"Ooh! Ooh, ooh, me, me, me, me! Pick me! I wanna play with the hamsters!" said Numbuh 3.

"All righty, then." Numbuh 1 said. "Numbuh 3, you gather up the hamsters. And we'll stay here and..." He let out another yawn. "...supervise!"

Numbuh 3 chased after a hamster. It jumped into a hole, and Numbuh 3 jumped down after it, and then there was a great big **boing** noise and Numbuh 3 was launched out off the treehouse into the _80's Disco Nightclub_ from **Skatoony**.

"CUT! Who put a spring in the hole Numbuh 3 jumped into!"

* * *

Sorry for this chapter being short. There weren't many bloopers for the level, but the next chapter will make up for that!

Numbuh 1: why?

It features a guest appearance!

Numbuh 3: Oooh...

Numbuh 1: Whoever it is, it MUST be good!

Voice: You'll see...

By the way, guess who that voice is! It's someone who's mentioned in the next chapter!

Numbuh 3: **Read and Review!**


	8. Operation: SPANKARIFFIC

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 8: Operation S.P.A.N.K.A.R.I.F.F.I.C.

* * *

_**[Level Intro cutscene]**_

Numbuh 3 had collected all the hamsters, and told them to power up the core, and before long, every part of the treehouse was fully operational again! Hooray!

"Thank you, little fuzzy hamster friends!" said Numbuh 3.

And then a bolt of electricity zapped her. "OUCH!" she screamed.

"Cut!" said the director. "Get her to hospital!"

**[In the Neighbourhood]**

_Take 1:_

Count Spankulot was standing on a chimney and raising his hand in the air, but then he leaned too far and fell off the roof, landing with a clatter.

"CUT! Get him to hospital, stat!"

_Take 2:_

Count Spankulot was standing on a chimney and raising his hand in the air. And when Numbuh 1 was to arrive, Numbuh 3 arrived instead, holding the G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A.

"Kuki! Where's Numbuh 1?"

"He had to go to the restroom, so I'm filling in!"

_Take 3:_

Count Spankulot was standing on a chimney and raising his hand in the air. Then Numbuh 1 arrived, holding the G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A.

"Freeze, Count Spankulot! Hands where I can see you!" Then he burst out laughing.

"CUT!"

"Sorry, I think it's funny because he uses his hands to spank children..."

And Numbuh 1 burst out laughing. Count Spankulot saw and he was mad!

"HOW DARE YOU MOCK THE ONE AND ONLY COUNT SPANKULOT!" Count Spankulot screamed. Then he attacked Numbuh 1 like there was no tomorrow.

"Why me?" the director sighed.

* * *

**[The In-Level Text Intermissions]**

Intro:

Count Spankulot: Time for your spanking, Numbuh 1! Ah-ha-ha-haaaa! And do not bother with the shooting at my Hands of Justice, I assure you the darkness makes them quite **INVULNERABLE** to your attackingness... [laughs]

Director: CUT!

Gallagher School Clocktower Battle 1:

Count Spankulot: Join me, Numbuh 1, and at my side, you can spank them ALL, like naughty little Lewis, that naughty Cedric boy, or... LIZZIE...

Numbuh 1: Sorry, Count! Your days of spanking are... HEY! You leave my girlfriend Lizzie out of this!

Count Spankulot: Girlfriend? Ah yesss... Well, then... If you won't join me... perhaps **SHE** will... MU-HA-HA-HA-HAA!

Numbuh 1: **NOOOO**!

Lizzie: You'd better not hurt me or my Nigie!

Count Spankulot: What the hell?

_*Lizzie uses the L.O.C.K.A.H.S.O.C.K.A.H. to beat Count Spankulot up*_

Director: CUT! Lizzie, you don't appear in this game at all!

Lizzie: Oh shut the fuck up! _*wallops the director and throws him and Count Spankulot into the **Faulty Bagpipe Superstore **from **Skatoony**.*_

Numbuh 1: Note to self: never get on my girlfriend's bad side.

Gallagher School Clocktower Battle 2:

Numbuh 1: You're out of places to **HIDE**, Spankulot! Soon it'll be _morning_ and **I'LL** be hauling your **sunburnt butt** back to prison!

Count Spankulot: What? _**SUNBURNT?!**_ You bitch! Maybe I do need to apply some suntan cream...

Director: Damn it!

Gallagher School Clocktower Battle 3:

Numbuh 1: Looks like you're running out of time **AND** henchmen, Spankulot!

Count Spankulot: The only thing **I'M** in the _'running out of'_ is patience for your smart remarks, naughty boy!

Numbuh 1: Oh come on! That's the lamest line ever!

Director: CUT! What the hell was that?!

Count Spankulot Boss:

Numbuh 1: Look on the bright side, Count! Your little spanking crusade may be over, but at least you'll be spending the morning in a nice, dark prison cell.

Count Spankulot: But, but, NO! There are still so many** NAUGHTY CHILDRENS** left to **SPANK**! Surely an ill-behaved youngster like yourself knows this to be true!?

Numbuh 1: YES!

Director: CUT!

Count Spankulot Defeated:

Numbuh 1: I've apprehended Count Spankulot and I'm bringing him in.

Numbuh 2: That's great, Numbuh 1, but I'm doing a little upgrade on the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S., so I don't have room for him yet. I mean, I could clean out a closet or something, but...

Numbuh 1: That's quite alright, Numbuh 2. We can put him in cold storage for now, and ship him off to Moonbase when we've captured the others. See you back at headquarters. Numbuh 1-

Lizzie: Come on Nigie! Time for your **DATE!**

Numbuh 1: Uh...

Lizzie: Well?

Director: CUT CUT CUT CUT CUUUUUUUUUUUT!

Lizzie: **FUCK OFF, BITCH!** *wallops the director and throws him off the clocktower and into a truck full of broken glass*

Numbuh 1: Now **that **had to hurt.

* * *

Progress on this might be slow, because I'm beginning to run out of ideas.

Lizzie: Good! It means I'll have more date time with Nigie-wigie!

Numbuh 1: Uhhhh...

Me: Uhhh.. riiight.

Lizzie: **_READ AND REVIEW!_**


	9. Operation: TARPOON

_**Note: **__Before you read, I might let you know that there might be a small delay or two in chapters. I have been busy. Also, These might not be fun, because I'm starting to run out of ideas. Just try to like them._

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 9: Operation T.A.R.P.O.O.N.

* * *

_**[Level Intro cutscene]**_

Count Spankulot's 'spanking crusade' was over, thanks to Numbuh 1, and Count Spankulot was brought into the KND treehouse to be held until it was time to take him and the other villains to the Extra-Sooper-Triple Maximum Security Prison on the dark side of the Moon.

"Please, please! I beg you, I cannot go back to prison! The food... it is TERRIBLE! And... it's so very, very... boring!" protested the spank-happy vampire.

"Don't worry, Count. Our Sooper Maximum Security Prison is equipped with the First-Rate Spankatorium, with all the latest equipment guaranteed to meet the needs of even the most demanding spanker!" lied Numbuh 1.

"Really?" said Count Spankulot. "Yes." Numbuh 1 said.

"CUT! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT, NUMBUH 1!"

* * *

**[Mission briefing]**

_Take 1:_

The alarm sounded and all 5 Sector V members arrived as Numbuh 86 appeared.

"Look alive, crooks!"

"HEY!" shouted Numbuh 4. "We're not crooks!"

He put his fist into the screen and smashed Numbuh 86 in the jaw!

"CUT!"

_Take 2:_

The alarm sounded and all 5 Sector V members arrived, but instead of Numbuh 86, Rick Astley appeared on the screen, singing his song _'Never Gonna Give You Up'_.

"What the fuck was that?!" shouted Numbuh 4.

"Numbuh 5 just thinks we got rickrolled - again." Numbuh 5 said.

**"CUT!"**

_Take 3:_

The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen.

The screen appeared blank, but Numbuh 86's voice was heard.

"Look alive, crooks! While you were having your spankin' party..."

She stopped. "HEY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! WHY IS THE SCREEN BLANK?"

"We're here, Numbuh 86! What's the problem?" Numbuh 1 said.

"THE PROBLEM IS THAT I CAN'T SEE YOU!"

"CUT! Can somebody fix the screen?"

_Take 4:_

The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen.

The screen appeared blank, just like last time.

"Cut! Where is Numbuh 86? She just missed her cue! AGAIN!"

Outside the studio, Numbuh 86 was struggling with the door to the women's restroom. It was stuck.

"Darn my next toilet break!" she snapped. "Darn these faulty doors!" She stopped. "Whoa! Deja vu!"

* * *

**[Leaving the treehouse]**

_Take 1:_

The KND members had got word of the Sweet Revenge [Stickybeard's ship] off the coast of South Dakota. They decided to get Numbuh 5 to handle it. But as they were leaving, Numbuh 4 noticed a button.

"Hey! I don't remember this being here. What's this button do?" he said. He pressed it...

and the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. stopped moving and crashed to the bottom.

"CUT!" The director screamed.

"Numbuh 4, you were supposed to hit the tarpoon button!" Numbuh 2 said crossly.

"Whoops! Sorry." said Numbuh 4.

_Take 2:_

The KND members had got word of the Sweet Revenge [Stickybeard's ship] off the coast of South Dakota. They decided to get Numbuh 5 to handle it. But as they were leaving, Numbuh 4 noticed a button.

"Hey! I don't remember this being here. What's this button do?" he said. He pressed it...

...and nothing happened. "Well?" said Numbuh 2 crossly.

Numbuh 4 hit the button again. Still nothing happened.

He hit the button over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Then suddenly...

BOOM!

The C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. exploded.

"CUT!" The director screamed. Then he complained to himself, "When Mom told me to be a doctor, I shuld have listened!"

* * *

**[Father and Delightful Children Scene]**

Meanwhile, in a mansion, Father was talking to the same shadowy person from the intro cutscenes of B.O.O.G.I.F.I.C.A.T.I.O.N. and S.P.A.N.K.-H.A.P.P.Y., IF YOU MUST KNOW.

"Excellent work, my evil apprentice." he said. The shadowy person left. He turned to the Delightful Children From Down The Lane.

"The day we have longed for is almost upon us, my Delightful Children. Soon the Kids Next Door will be NO MORE!" he said.

"Yes, Father." the DCFDTL said in unison, then they and Father laughed. Then suddenly, the Toiletnator crashed in.

"Hey guys, where's the party?"

"CUT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE TOILETNATOR DOING IN HERE?!"

"We don't know, Mr Director." The DCFDTL said in unison.

"Nobody asked you 5!" he said.

Father marched over, and beat the Toiletnator to a bloody pulp.

The DCFDTL stared with wide eyes. "That is so gruesome, it's funny!" they said to no one in particular.

* * *

Riiight. SO... uhhh...

DCFDTL: **READ AND REVIEW!** [they laugh maniacally]


	10. Operation: SHIP-SHAPE

**[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]**

Chapter 10: Operation S.H.I.P.-S.H.A.P.E.

* * *

_**[Level Intro cutscene]**_

_Take 1:_

Numbuh 2 had managed to fly the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. all the way to Stickybeard's ship, whilst also collecting engine parts to make a new T.A.R.P.O.O.N., to replace the old one that Numbuh 4 'accidentally' activated in the last chapter.

"Ha! Candy pirates? More like a bunch of 'suckers' to me!" Numbuh 2 joked.

"Don't stop now!" Numbuh 5 shouted. "The Sweet Revenge is getting away!"

"We'll see about that!" Numbuh 2 said. "Numbuh 4, fire Tarpoon... NOW!"

Numbuh 4 hit the button, and the T.A.R.P.O.O.N. fired into the Sweet Revenge.

"CUT!" The director shouted.

"What do you mean 'cut'?" asked Numbuh 2 angrily.

"Yeah!" said Numbuh 4. "We have to let Numbuh 5 on the Sweet Revenge to defeat Stickybeard!"

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HIT THE FUCKING POWER BUTTON, YOU BIG SHITHEAD!" The director shouted.

Numbuh 4 stared at the button labelled 'Powuh'. "OK." he said. "NO!" everyone else shouted. But it was too late. Numbuh 4 hit the powuh button and the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. dropped, pulling the Sweet Revenge with it. Then there was a loud boom, and candy erupted everywhere.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" The director said.

_Take 2:_

Numbuh 2 had managed to fly the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. all the way to Stickybeard's ship, whilst also collecting engine parts to make a new T.A.R.P.O.O.N., to replace the old one that Numbuh 4 'accidentally' activated in the last chapter.

"Ha! Candy pirates? More like a bunch of 'suckers' to me!" Numbuh 2 joked.

"Don't stop now!" Numbuh 5 shouted. "The Sweet Revenge is getting away!"

"We'll see about that!" Numbuh 2 said. "Numbuh 4, fire Tarpoon... NOW!"

Numbuh 4 hit the button, and everyone's seats sprung up and threw all of them into the **Rotten Pumpkin World **factory from_Skatoony._

_"_CUT!"

_tAKE 3:_

Numbuh 2 had managed to fly the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. all the way to Stickybeard's ship, whilst also collecting engine parts to make a new T.A.R.P.O.O.N., to replace the old one that Numbuh 4 'accidentally' activated in the last chapter.

"Ha! Candy pirates? More like a bunch of 'fuckers' to me!" Numbuh 2 joked.

"CUT!" The director said. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT?! THAT'S BAD LANGUAGE, NUMBER 2!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Numbuh 4 shouted as he started punching the crap out the director.

_Take 4:_

Numbuh 2 had managed to fly the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. all the way to Stickybeard's ship, whilst also collecting engine parts to make a new T.A.R.P.O.O.N., to replace the old one that Numbuh 4 'accidentally' activated in the last chapter.

"Ha! Candy pirates? More like a bunch of 'suckers' to me!" Numbuh 2 joked.

"Don't stop now!" Numbuh 5 shouted. "The Sweet Revenge is getting away!"

"We'll see about that!" Numbuh 2 said. "Numbuh 4, fire Tarpoon... NOW!"

Numbuh 4 hit the button, and then...

A loud fart noise appeared.

"NUMBUH 2!" everyone shouted.

"Sorry." Numbuh 2 said. "I had a whole can of baked beans for breakfast before we left."

"Get the air freshener spray in here!" the director yelled.

_Take 5:_

Numbuh 2 had managed to fly the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. all the way to Stickybeard's ship, blah blah blah, whilst also collecting engine parts to make a new T.A.R.P.O.O.N., blah blah blah, to replace the old one that Numbuh 4 'accidentally' activated in the last chapter, blah blah blah.

"Ha! Candy pirates? More like a bunch of 'suckers' to me!" Numbuh 2 joked.

"Don't stop now!" Numbuh 5 shouted. "The Sweet Revenge is getting away!"

"We'll see about that!" Numbuh 2 said. "Numbuh 4, fire Tarpoon... NOW!"

Numbuh 4 hit the button, and nothing happened.

"Uhhh, Numbuh 4, did you press it yet?" asked the director.

"Yeah, but I don't know why this... stupid... thing... won't... work!" said Numbuh 4 as he smashed the button over and over again.

Then the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. exploded.

"cut!" screamed the director.

* * *

_**[T.A.R.P.O.O.N. Fire]**_

_Take 1:_

The C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. aimed for the Sweet Revenge. Numbuh 4 pressed the button...

and the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. dropped.

"CUT!" the director shouted.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HIT THE OTHER BUTTON, NUMBUH 4!" Numbuh 2 shouted.

_Take 2:_

The C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. aimed for the Sweet Revenge. Numbuh 4 pressed the button...

and the T.A.R.P.O.O.N. fired, but it missed the Sweet Revenge...

and hit the Eiffel tower in Paris.

"Cut!"

_Take 3:_

The same result as Take 2, only this time, it hit Big Ben, in London.

"CUT!"

_Take 4:_

The same result as Take 2, only this time, it hit the Statue of Liberty, in New York.

"CUT!"

_Take 5:_

The same result as Take 2, only this time, it hit the Taj Mahal, in India.

"CUT!"

_Take 6:_

The T.A.R.P.O.O.N. fired into the Sweet Revenge...

and the ship exploded!

"What the fuck?" said Numbuh 5, shocked.

"CUT!" The director screamed. "Alright, who put lit dynamite on the T.A.R.P.O.O.N.? Come on, own up!"

Numbuh 4 whistled innocently, but there was a stick of unlit dynamite in his hand.

"Oh brother!" the director said.

* * *

**[The In-Level Text Intermissions]**

_**Note: **__There won't be any intro this time. I couldn't think of any bloopers for it._

Save the C.O.O.L-B.U.S.:

Numbuh 1: Numbuh 5? Numbuh 5! Where are you?

Numbuh 5: Where do you THINK I am!? I'm TRYIN' to catch Stickybeard!

Numbuh 2: Well, we... uh... have a little problem. See those cannons? You've gotta take'em out or the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. is toast, and we won't be around to pick you up after you've captured Stickybeard!

Numbuh 5: Man, does Numbuh 5 have to do EVERYTHING around here?!

Numbuh 4: YEAH! Now go fuck those pirates up or we're dead!

Director: CUT! Numbuh 4, you don't have any lines in this bit!

Numbuh 4: Oh, shut the FUCK up! [wallops the director]

Stickybeard Boss:

Numbuh 5: Hands away from the beard, Stickyfool! There'll be no more candy where you're going!

Stickybeard: SOOOO... yer not here for me candy, are ye? Ahh, then perhaps you've finally decided to join me as me new first mate so together we can sail the suburbs robbing kids of their candy! HAR!

Numbuh 5: The only place you're sailin' back to is prison, Stickyass!

Stickybeard: WHAT? HOW DARE YE CALL ME STICKYASS! I'LL FUCKING KILL YE!

Director: CUT! IT'S 'STICKYFACE', NOT 'STICKYASS'!

Numbuh 5: Numbuh 5 thinks it fits!

Director: Oh brother!

Stickybeard: SHUT THE FUCK UP, DIRECTOR! [fires a cannon into his face]

Numbuh 5: [cringes and steps back]

Stickybeard Defeated:

Stickybeard: Ok! OK, lassie! Ye've bested me! Take the candy then! But spare an old pirate his freedom!

Numbuh 5: NO!

Director: CUT! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT, NUMBUH 5?!

Numbuh 5: Sorry! Numbuh 5 just couldn't resist!

Director: Oh brother!

* * *

Ok. so... what happens now?

Numbuh 5: READ AND REVIEW!


End file.
